You don’t have to let other people’s critical body comments cause you to critique your own body. Resist the temptation to engage in “fat talk” with these tips
Have you ever been with friends and someone starts complaining about “feeling fat”?Â Or maybe you are in a store trying on clothes and you hear another customer talk about “how fat she looks in that dress.”
It likely triggered a moment of insecurity.
Working in an exercise studio was very eye-opening to see firsthand how criticalÂ people can be about their bodies. The second that one person says “I hate my arms” or “my thunder thighsÂ are crashing together” or “I wish I didn’t have these love handles” is the second that almost anyone within earshot starts to critique themselves even if it’s not spoken out loud.
So what if you started out the day feeling pretty good about yourself? Now you’re wondering if you look fat, too. No matter how you felt before, it’s likely that you’ll start to question the state of your own body.
Fat talk is a way for people to bond. Almost everyone has some body partÂ they aren’t 100% happy with, so it’s easy to relate. This always reminds me of that scene in Mean Girls (I know this makes me sound so basic) where they are all talking about what they hate about their body.
But fat talkÂ is not a wayÂ to have meaningful connections in yourÂ life. It’s not worth the guilt, shame, and negativity it brings.
Instead of staying on my soapbox about how detrimental it can be to be hypercritical of your body, here are some suggestions forÂ stopping the fat talk:
ConsiderÂ why you’re so awesome
Basing your worth on your body is a surefire way to feel unhappy & feel unhappy often. Think about the other things that are so great about you that are unrelated to your body.
Don’t forgetÂ that it can be anything; think outside the box. Are you a coupon wizard? Can you create a gourmet dinner with whatever ingredients are in your kitchen? Are you notorious for making people laugh? Do you have mad dancing skillz?Â Can you write efficient yet witty emails in minutes?
If you are having a hard time with this,Â ask a friend or family member. I’m sure they’ll come up with more reasons than you can count in seconds.
The next time you start to have a challenging day with your body image, remember the great things about you that are completely unrelated to your body.
Appreciate your body
On the same note as remembering why you’re awesome, could you come up with 3-5 things that you like about your body?
Maybe your strongÂ arms help you carry all the groceries inside in one trip (yay for one trip!). Or those powerful glutes push your body forward all day long.Â Or your strong core supports your spine and protects your lower back.
What makes you say “I feel fat”
Donâ€™t minimize the sensation of “feeling fat.” You are entitled to feel uncomfortable about your body or a certain body part. However, how you feel about your body doesnâ€™t need to determine your emotions.
Maybe you’re the one that started the “I feel fat” convo. Why are you feeling this way? Do you feel uncomfortable in your body? Can you do something to change it? What if you accept and appreciate (see above) your body? I promise that accepting your body won’t make you gain weight.
Get curious on why you are having negative thoughts about your body, and avoid using your body as a scapegoat.
Change the subject
You don’t have to continue the fat talk.
I usually just ask a question and it quickly changes the subject.
MakeÂ meaningful connections
What are some other topics you can discuss that have meaning? Being skinny or looking like someone in a magazine isn’t the goal in life (nor is it possible). You could talk about your hobbies, your family, your job, your favorite restaurant,Â and so much more.
Skip the body shaming; life is a much more enjoyable (for your body & mind) than talking about how unsatisfied you are with your body.
What is yourÂ favorite way to change the subject when fat talk starts happening? How do you make meaningful connections with peopleÂ (as opposed to connecting with people through dissing your body)?